YOU ARE SAXOPHONE

Is not your soul

a tiny jukebox

a pain in your heart

sprung from the

blues & which

when I cup my

hand to your chest

be like thunderous

rain like wasps in

a coffee can & thou

nettles & dry river-

bed thou sermon

of fire sister & we

hymnal of matchsticks?

YOU ARE NO DEPRESSION

I wrote your name on my

neck & drew your picture

on the bathroom wall

you are my leg bone sister

you are elbow bone & hip

bone & sexy ankle bone sister

just like you’re June Carter

scratching on the record

inside my head but what if

it turns out we never belonged

can we go back in time to when

you were a wheat field & I was

a meadowlark in the thresher

of your delicate teeth?

YOU ARE JOHNNY LAWRENCE

Do you remember

the Halloween I went

dressed as a cello & you

were a postcard of the LA

skyline? That was the most

fantastic night because you

were all lit up & I played

myself for you over & over

again but now I can’t remember

what you said when I told you

I wanted to paint your fence

I think you laughed or else

you said I should have come

dressed as a body bag.

ODE TO YOUR COOL HANDS

I be your horse

to whip & to hold

not corpse

not busted ankle

bone & down

my throat you

can plug every

dime every

quarter so I be

your parking meter

& you be my

pipe cutting tool.

STRING THEORY

When I get dizzy my fingers get nylon rope

& I need to tighten them around my neck.

I panic bad that any second I’ll collapse

into a black hole & I’d rather pass out

tire-throated in the library on the front lawn

at the liquor store underneath the neighbors’ jungle

gym. I just don’t give a shit but please let me

carry my eyes in your backpack or something.

Please let me hold your hand while I try not to

smear my face on the wallpaper. & ain’t no one

accusing you of being vertigo but just to be safe

you should always carry this scalpel & learn how

to butterfly my chest. You should learn how to

make like you’re crying & lie to me about

everything. Be dog whistle. Be magic trick.

Be invisible ink on the inside of my eyelids.

WE ARE ALL THE ANIMALS

If I was an arsonist I would burn

my clothes & your clothes & pin

all my hopes on your chest partly because

you resemble Newport Kentucky

the way I remember it when I was

six years old partly because my pants

don’t fit right & I wanna jellyfish our legs

wanna be your sperm whale I have the idea

you get the idea & it’s 1:52 pm in October

would it be ok if I got Meriwether Lewis

with your spine bones I have illicit finger-

prints & feel terribly melancholy I want you

to lick me like wolves I like you very

ice cream parlor I like you very very

stomach ache when it rains I wish I’d burst

into snow snow covering your tongue

your 1988 Oldsmobile your naked center

of gravity I bet you’ll always remember

how white my heart is it’s the moon

being eaten by a Siberian tiger & it’s magnificent

& dear magazine cover you are a truck

as America as America your insides are firecracker

I got hundreds of horsepower for you I am

into you like cherries & Diane Lane when you

call me Ponyboy I’ll bleed all my blood for you

I am committed to that & fucking amen.

AN ESSAY ABOUT RIVERS

your sister is the snow &

she is becoming-snow

her hair her lips I need

to draw you a picture

she has river-colored

eyelashes & knows

about cold things

you & your sister take

winter so serious all is

immediate god is angry

but no that ain’t the real

problem it’s my nervous

system its amplifier feed-

back I can talk to jesus

I am articulate alright

& you are a lot sad

I cannot think of you

without feeling what’s

inside me what’s way down

& brutal & flesh wrestling

flesh so much so I want

to leave this place before

we are forever or

part of the geography

I swear my blood’s been

wiretapped tells me

to get naked to teeth your

skin & it will be okay all

this here will be okay

your river your sister’s river

everything I know right

now though there’s nothing

here I care 10¢ about

but that ain’t my fault is it

one winter last fall

I was dying I am not

dying not dead just sad

really looking at you like

my eyes is made of ice.

AN ESSAY ABOUT BENZODIAZEPINES

this here bus shakes me

like gin my face knocking

drunk inside my face

I am afraid I am not

afraid to tell you my blood

hurts my skull is river dam

my eyes canola oil I mean

real fucked up I am horse meat

hanging in the sun I am

thinking of a number

between your knees & yes

it’s my hand I take off my shirt

it’s two in the afternoon

the afternoon kicks its

boots into my breastbone

everyone ignores me

even if I dance “fuck me”

& so what if the world

will end sometime

what matters most is living

it never rains enough it sickens me

& I tell myself I says that’s that

I’ll play two-way mirror in your bed-

room tumble over you when it’s dark

you’ll rabbit me I’ll flesh you your

tiny ankles & womb & bossa nova

you’ll be so happy we both x-rated

this world shaky like rollercoaster

this world pill bottle &

illegal groping you is contraband

I like to say your name like heroin

your other name is St Louis

I build a bridge to your entire

spinebone watch you like tv

there ain’t nowhere I want to go to

so we play funeral we’ll play funeral

alright but maybe I’m scared of you

I haven’t done anything for you for your

love for your money I am a fan of your arms

every button unbuttoned on your every shirt

we should live together I promise

I’m not very I was no more

I just hate my insides & how they’re a million

migrating birds a million pianos playing

a busted vibrating bed.

AN ESSAY ABOUT COCA-COLA

I feel pretty good considering I am

not ok with people or lights or Coca-Cola

how about we agree the heart herein

will be cataloged as a bowl of cherries

I scream your name someone should

be January why not you I swear

it’s better than Anywhere Minnesota

I keep telling you I’m woozy the moon

is empty a fiberglass boat of night

as far as I can tell my stomach is synthesizer

that’s how it feels god it’s terribly electric

I fucking hate this I tell no one

else but you & I do feel

awful sad for you wish I could

pull some whiskey out of my hat

if you were a stranger I’d make out

with you hardcore I got booming desires

I’d like to know how much

it would cost to build a river

if the river was lightning bugs

you could wade chest-deep

flicker Louisville skyline be like this

girl I knew from Paducah

I’ll ferry boat you you’ll life preserver

your limbs your limbs curl around me

it’s very kite string I am a firewood tree

but maybe I should not talk so intimately

I am a sinner hell I ain’t

I swear read my face it says

life is a drugstore it is shooting up

my heart with paint the color of your lipstick

we are alive alright we are alone

we should fuck in the river

& afterward play bomb shelter

in your VW hatchback.

WHAT I MEAN IS YES

if I knew a girl who liked Superchunk

as much as I do I would buy her a record

player & a chocolate malt & a yellow house

in Pekin IL I would try to sleep with her

so together we’d dream the same dream

about moon pies & lightning bugs

that explode like popcorn in the summer

heat but goddamn I hate the summer

the air is matchheads makes me feel

so transparent tape so meth & unwound

baseball string my head is gin & vermouth

the morning after senior prom but

isn’t that a wonderful feeling I’m ready

to go dancing I’m ready to cut my neck

with a broken bottle bleed wolfblood

onto my pants onto your blue blue dress

but this jackhammer pounding my left eye

is awfully rush hour awfully car sliding off

the highway into another car & it’s kinda

euphoric kinda rattlesnake in the sleeping

bag & why shouldn’t it be our eyeballs are

jelly my zipper is birds’ nest why don’t you

play raccoon why don’t you slowly slowly

all right till your parents come home from work.

BIRTHDAY POEM

because it’s my birthday

I wanna tattoo my name

on your neck suck your face

as if it’s a root beer float

tell me this if I promise

to wish my one wish

for you would you buy

me a new existence so

I could colonize your

horizon I think I’d like that

I think we should go for

a ride on my skateboard

even though it’s January &

colder than Leningrad I think

this is where I write you

something about your ass

it is fantastic I’ll meet you

behind the Pizza Hut

in 5 minutes you will

be that girl from Elastica

& snarl at me vicious

say you wanna chew my

lips off I’ve got grizzly bear

teeth god I wanna eat you

you are black licorice

but I can’t feel my life

no more not like I used to

when I would swallow

every lightning bug & try

everything I could to

gunnysack you.

YOUR FUTURE LIFE

If I tell you your hands look like tiny Viking ships,

would you say something wild and evergreen

about my new winter haircut? We are famous for being

the only two kangaroos in the room. We are big stars

sewn onto the breasts of our matching karate uniforms.

I once fell in love for miles and miles. I wanted to take off

my pants at the nearest gas station but I was self-conscious

about my new rabbit’s foot. Some days I can hear myself

breathing. I am a fish swimming small circles on wet

pavement. Your future life will be dark and beautiful.

You will climb inside me as if I was a bear and press yourself

against my eyeballs. Our hearts will rub together and

start a spectacular orange wildfire.